Unapplauded Bravery

What is bravery?

It’s only spring, yet we’ve had such summery weather.  The night’s aroma one of baked earth,  so strong you could have sworn you were in the mediterranean. We’re on the other side now.  The days are cooling quickly, though I still have the window open as I write. 

I’m grateful for the cooling. Though it was fantastic weather to pursue big projects, the cooler temperatures are a blessing now I’m stuck in bed in autoimmune convalescence.  It’s days like this that show me why ‘disabled’ is part of my government assigned persona.  The label that doesn’t define me, but, for administration purposes, has to.

That’s what I want to talk about today.  Our concept of self and how it drifts and shape shifts as we grow older.

We arrive on this planet naked and annoyed but whole.  From that moment on we piece together our self-image based on what and who we encounter along the way.  For some people, the whispers of identity are not far from reality, and they carry on, unaware that their self-image is an amalgamation of other people’s thoughts and opinions.

But for others, there’s a mismatch so at odds with who we came into this world to be that our psyche literally breaks.  This is not a new phenomenon though society loves to gloss over it with terms like mid-life crisis, devaluing this event as something to be mocked.  The truth is much deeper.  In essence, we’re coming home to ourselves, and that feels odd to those familiar with our old, shallow persona.

It is a rite of passage and a dangerous one at that.  With our disconnected communities and the scientific obsession of what’s right and what is wrong, we have forgotten how to support people through their dark night of the soul.  

Those lucky enough to emerge from the other side of this experience are faced with a new challenge.  Protecting this tender seedling of new identity as it grows, until it’s stable enough to protect itself from the outside world.

How does this relate to bravery? Well, not all acts of bravery are the same.  Why is it that some people will happily throw themselves out of an aeroplane, but will stall for 30 years instead of sharing their writing online.  

Physical bravery is generally applauded out there in the wild.  But there are other types of bravery. Psychological bravery. Existential bravery.  These other types aren’t always met with the warmth of their physical counterpart.  Sharing your innermost feelings and philosophies often provokes “input” from others whose worldview is different.  Many of whom can’t understand that we’re all entitled to our own view.

This experience, is so universal that even if you’ve never experienced it personally, you have seen it happen to someone else.  For someone nurturing a delicate seedling identity, it’s terrifying.  That, to me, is the saddest part. Some of the greatest minds with a wealth of wisdom desperately wanting to share their thoughts but being pipped at the post by a hidden anxiety.  Can I protect this emergent self-concept against the wilds of the internet, or will it all collapse like a house of cards? 

When you’ve spent a good portion of your adult life trying to rediscover who you are, the risk is that you then keep it closed off from the outside world.   In doing so we are unintentionally clipping our own wings.  Sharing who we are, unfiltered and for all to see, is essential.  It’s the blossoming of the person we were meant to be.  You did the hard work, you found the raw ore of your personality but sharing allows you to refine it into the most beautiful of gemstones.

If this all sounded raw and personal, it is.  It’s why I’m here, writing this today.  Because I peeled off the layers, I found who I am underneath and I’m ready for the next step.

This is me.  Being brave.

Is it time for your next step?